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Now that the three-armed maiden is gone, we can all breathe a sigh of relief and talk about really important stuff, like, oh I don’t know, why I found14 gray hairs this morning or how Bare Minerals made me look like I was made out of porcelain, and not in a good way.
Seriously, the gray hair thing is really bugging me. I don’t know why. I’m 52, dammit, I have earned those babies. But, for those of you have gray hairs, do you realize they kind of glow in the dark? They have this otherworldly sheen to them, like they aren’t even human. I’d pluck them out, but then the other 47 hairs on my head would be lonely. I mean, I already have to twist the baby ponytail holders about 5 times around my teensy pony tail, I don’t want to make it any worse.
And about this picture. It is just wrong. The model must be about 20, and she is wearing a gray wig with pearls the size of horse testicles, and granny glasses. But look at the unnatural sheen on her skin. That is what the Bare Minerals looked like on me! It was as if I’d been airbrushed right out of my own complexion, and believe me, that was bizarre. So, don’t be fooled by those commercial on TV… that stuff is just gross.
Looking ahead to the weekend: Wendy and I will be devouring a Colin Firth movies that is unrated. Do you know what that means, boys and girls? We might get to see Colin nekked. (Note: we watched the movie last night. I’d give it a B. And no naked Colin. Bummer.) I am very much anticipating this, as he is one of my top hotties.
Would you like to know the top hotties? Of course you would…
- Colin Firth, the only true Darcy, the very British hunk of male flesh. Might be able to sing. A little.
- Gerard Butler: we loved him as the Phantom that couldn’t sing, and now we love him as the oiled up buff guy in 300. His Scottish brogue is unintelligible, but who cares?
- Gary Raymond. This is the crush from my childhood. The educated, eloquent, and daring Jack Moffitt from the Rat Patrol (I promised you they were pretty!) He was never a star, but oh, so delicious. Rumor is he can sing.
- What list of hotties could be complete without Mr. Depp. Quirky, eccentric, and beautiful. Can’t sing either. Will forgive him.
At the moment, I am so fixated on these guys I cannot possibly come up with more. However, I shall ponder this. A delightful meditation, don’t you think?
Off to my Saturday chores. (read: nothing)