Wherein I discuss my $150 knives and how they don’t hold an edge

Jul 30, 2008 by

John swears my knives are just waiting for me to blog about them.

Yup, that’s how it goes in my home.  Even my kids tell me what to blog about.

But back to my knives.  To the Henkel, Wustof, and Messermeisters in my kitchen: Hey, knock it off.  Why can’t you fellas hold an edge?  I mean, WTF???  I take you to get sharpened by “professionals” (the cute Cutlery people who bring their small children to work with them while they sharpen knives… that shoulda been my first clue).  And you hold an edge for how long? 10 minutes? 5?  Give a poor Food Network Addict a break.

I can’t afford the time or the gas to continually bring you back to the Munster family that runs the local cutlery store.  I just need you to hold an edge, guys.  I mean, I know some guys have a problem now and then, but hell, is there a Viagra for knives that won’t stay sharp?

And I’m limited in my resources… I live in Utah County for heaven’s sake.  And I’m not going to drive to some tiny little sharpening store run by some wizened gnome in Sugarhouse… I just won’t do it.

Maybe I need to invest in my own sharpening kit (complete with DVD!) and do my own knives.

No, if I had been meant to be a sharpener I would have found that vocation years ago… this is a crisis, people. I NEED MY KNIVES!!!!

Hell, I finally train my kids to treat my knives with the respect due a small, orphaned kitten, and now my knives rebel and go dull.

I have retarded knives.

What is it right now, that in my life, retardation seems to be appearing all over the place.

Hell.  Damn.  Whatever.

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  1. Let’s excommunicate them….I’ll send a letter.

  2. Michelle

    YES! Ex the knives! No council necessary…just boot them out!

  3. and hey…I notice that you deleted a post. What’s that about???

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