Cleanse – Day 4… barely

Jul 29, 2005 by


OK, so I amused myself last night plotting ways I could secretly eat today and not tell Brent. Yes, Brent, the man who nearly killed me on the first day, is now bound and determined to keep going on the cleanse. So I was thinking, “he’d never know if I stopped at Albertson’s and bought a package of pumpkin chocolate chip cookies.” “Surely I could at the very least get a smoothie or something.” “Oh hell, I’m going to eat ANYTHING!”

Well, I didn’t get any food. I am amazed actually at how good I feel today. Right on schedule. They say day 4 and 5 are great. I think I may quit while I’m ahead.

Top 10 things I hate about cleansing:

10. That the lemonade looks like urine
9. That I am actually dreaming about food
8. That I haven’t actually craved a Diet Coke. That really bugs me.
7. That I have to get up and go to the bathroom at least 3 times at night.
6. That I have to go to the bathroom all freaking day.
5. That my breath smells like dead cats.
4. That the cookie lady is coming to work today.
3. That it is an actual treat to buy “designer water”
2. Squeezing the damn lemons
1. Pooping

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